Funny Quotes 91 Next time a stranger talks to me when I’m alone I will look at them shocked and whisper quietly, “You can see me?”
Funny Quotes 89 The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on
Funny Quotes 87 A good friend helps you up when you fall. A best friend laughs in your face and trips you again.
Funny Quotes 78 My life. My choices. My mistakes. My lessons. Not your business.
Funny Quotes 77 Some people are like Slinkies. They don’t really have a purpose, but they still bring a smile to your face when you push them down the stairs.
Funny Quotes 73 I hate it when you offer someone a sincere compliment on their moustache and suddenly she’s not your friend anymore
Funny Quotes 68 For my next trick I’ll need a condom and a volunteer
Funny Quotes 64 Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, “I think I’ll squeeze these dangly things here and drink what comes out?”
Funny Quotes 62 I’m not paranoid, just terribly, terribly alert…
Funny Quotes 52 Ok… so what’s the speed of dark?