Funny Quotes 64 Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, “I think I’ll squeeze these dangly things here and drink what comes out?”
Funny Quotes 56 Light travels faster than sound. That is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
Funny Quotes 83 I called your boyfriend gay and he hit me with his purse
Funny Quotes 49 Curiosity kills more mice than cats
Funny Quotes 45 I don’t like morning people… or mornings… or people
Funny Quotes 32 Swearing – Because sometimes “gosh darn” and “meanie head” just don’t cover it
Funny Quotes 29 Remember, if we get caught, you’re deaf and I don’t speak English
Funny Quotes 27 The older I get, the more I realize how much I f*cking hate people
Funny Quotes 26 Respect your parents. They passed school without Google.
Funny Quotes 24 How to tell someone they have bad breath, “Well I’m bored, let’s go brush our teeth.”